Trick or Treats (1982)

Trick or Treats
1982
Rated R
91 minutes




Alternate Titles:
 - Decapitator
 - Fatal noche de brujas (Fatal Halloween)
 - Terror na Noite (Terror at Night)
 - Dont' Prank The Babysitter!




Taglines:
 - ...when Halloween night stopped being fun!

 - Halloween's over. Now It's the kids' turn to get even!





Thanks for the kiss, baby!
                                    -Christopher

 The babysitter-in-peril motif of slasher flicks was already starting to get stale by 1982, but that didn't stop a whole slew of "Babysitter Slashers" from being produced well into the 90's.
Stale as it may be there are always a few that seem to shine a little more than the rest. Is this one of them? Well, probably not, but that's okay because there's actually nothing wrong with being a perfectly mediocre slasher, despite what you're told on the internet.

TRICK OR TREATS starts of with a well to do couple named Joan and Malcolm having breakfast on their back porch. There's a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Joan says. Who's at the door?  Why it's men in white coats and a straight jacket there to pick up Malcolm!  Something seems amiss. Me thinks that Joan has sent for them without his knowledge.  Naughty Joan.

As you can imagine things don't go well when Malcolm is asked to come with the nice mustachioed men. He tries to escape but the burly duo manage to subdue him after they all end up falling in the pool.  They haul him, shrieking, out to the van and cart him away to the insane asylum.  Now, I'm not a psychiatrist, but I AM an EMS worker and I can tell you that this is NOT the optimal way to deal with a patient.  Deranged or not!

 We are next introduced to our lovely hero, Linda who has a telephone next to her shower, which she answers while IN the shower. Again, as an EMS worker I would advise against this type of behavior.  Who was she speaking to on the phone in the shower? "The Agency" who apparently can tell her that she has to babysit last minute or she's fired.  What a bunch of crap. Especially since she was supposed to go to her fiancee's opening night.

Apparently Bret is playing Othello and he got Linda a sit right down front. Wait, hold on, is that Steve Railsback playing Bret?  You're damn right it is! I would have loved to see him in a bigger part in this flick, but what are ya gonna do. You take your Railsback where ya can. No idea who the fella doing his makeup next to him is, but that dude has one hell of a rad mustache!

HOLY CRAP! It's David Carradine!  Well now I know where ninety percent of this flicks budget went!  Carradine is Richard Adams, Joan's new husband....and I suspect the reason she had Malcolm tossed in the nut house.

David - er - Richard is putting is "Smooth" moves on Linda. First trying to entice her with a diamond ring....the just going for the gusto and unzipping her jumpsuit.

Now it's time to meet Christopher! I'd say that he's your typical spoiled brat, but that would be a massive understatement. This kid is one giant asshole. He introduces himself to Linda via a guillotine illusion. I mean. Yeah, it's rad and all, but a real douche move. He's an "amateur magician" and "harmless" Joan tells Linda. Yeah. And I'm a skinny school girl.

Meanwhile Malcolm is scheming to get out of the nut house. If you click on this picture you should get a larger version.  Take a good look at this "set". I'm pretty sure they put some tables on a high school auditorium stage and yelled "action"!

Malcolm attacks a nurse when she goes to tuck him in.  Turns out she's wearing a wig. Weird.

Oh....so that's his plan. The ol' put on a wig and lipstick and pretend to be a lady gag. Hilarious.

 It's more tricks for Linda.  Old man masks. Severed Thumb. Some kind of ALICE, SWEET ALICE homage.....this kid is definitely a chip off the ol' block.

There's also this weird little movie within the movie segment to introduce Linda's friend.

Meet Andrea.  Linda's friend who is a film editor working on a horror flick.  How ironic!

Andrea is supposed to stop over the house and give Linda a tape she edited together for her. I'll give you three guesses as to what happens just before Andrea arrives.....

Yep, you guessed it!  Malcolm found his way home and is now stalking around inside!  Which is good because we're already past the hour mark and not one slashery thing has happened.

Have I mentioned that Jacqueline Giroux reminds me of a young P.J. Soles?  Well, she does. Maybe it's because they both played characters named Linda in slasher flicks?  I dunno.

Linda runs afoul of Malcolm and we finally get some action that isn't a prank, obscene phone call or yet another humdrum Halloween costume.

I suppose I COULD tell you what's going on here, but I'm a real bastard so I'm not going to. You'll just have to watch the film to see what happens!  

Would I recommend TRICK OR TREATS?  

Well that's a good question. Yes and no. If you're the type of person who feels that pretty much every movie that isn't the original Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th is garbage, then you're probably gonna hate this film too.

However, if you're like me and you enjoy finding little nuances in films, no matter how good or bad they are, they you'll find much to like here.

The acting isn't great, but it isn't the worst I've seen either.

-You get to see David Carradine & Steve Railsback in basically wasted roles...but when they're on screen, it's pure magic.
-You get to see a chubby faced little bastard use a bunch of magic and Halloween props to annoy the shit out of Linda.
-You get to see the most uninspired Halloween costumes I've ever seen in a movie that takes place on Halloween night.

Final Tally:

Monsters

Nope. Well, the kid. He's a little monster, that's for sure. But no creatures.

T&A

We do glimpse Linda's boobs when she's in the shower. She also looks pretty good in the nightie.

Gore

A little bit. But the "real" blood when the slashings start doesn't look half as good as the blood that Christopher uses when he pulls to severed finger gag!

Fun Factor
I had a great time with this one.  It's low budget. It's wonky. It's dumb. But gawddamn it, I had fun with it! If you've got Amazon Prime then you can watch this movie at no charge right now!  So what are ya waiting for?  Give your self a little trick with your treat.